Welcome to Royston Vasey, you'll never leave

Welcome to Royston Vasey, you'll never leave. Royston Vasey, a small remote town in the middle of nowhere, the only thing more bizare than the town is its inhabitants, meet Pauline the careers officer with her bizare and painful hands on aproach to the unimployed she supposedly 'helps', or as she calls them, dole scum. Perhaps you should come across the local butcher Hilery Briss, and fall in with his colleages and get a taste for his, 'speacial stuff, the same thing responsible for a deadly nosebleed epidemic after it was cut with sandwich paste, but women beware, as this town plays as sort of home to bizare circus master Papa Lazarou, beware lest should you fall to his collection of wifes, heres a hint, if he says, ''YOUR MY WIFE NOW'', your screwed. Perhaps you could get a job at the plastics center, and meet Geof, the anger promblematic with a gun that comes from nowhere and his bizare sence of humour. All off these and more are ferried around by 'Babs Cabs', owned and run by barbera, a person of unknown sex after a botched sex operation by local vet, 'Mr Chinnery', pets saved: 6, pets killed in strange bizare and horrific but at the same time hilarious ways: 364. but dispite all this its really a lovely place to live, but you will never see any of it if you are stupid enough to enter, The Local Shop, run by tubbs and edward, the stranger hating couple with a bizare diet and and a serious ignorance for the changing world around them, but if your ignorant to go anyway, when she asks you if your local god help you if you dont say yes, or theyle throw you to there monstrouse off spring, David, or Edward will ask Tubbs to get undressed, you'll be dead before you can count to 'twelvety'. Royston Vasey, a lovely little place to live, if you dare.